Wednesday 22 September 2010

Ginger-nuts

The new College year has officially begun, and we continuing students have been delighted to receive the newbies. We have tried to set the ethos as a welcoming and open College community, and hope that the new folks will pick-up on this.

I decided to experiment with gingerbread the night before and, albeit a little burned, seemed to be enjoyed by all... repeatedly... before
eventually being eaten.

You see, having left the biscuits in college overnight, I found that someone had been playing 'anagrams' with them by the time I arrived in the morning! Then, by the time we were released from our first lecture, there was a second configuration, that cou
ld only have been done by a member of staff!

This tutorial example became a part of ethos-setting which was eagerly embraced, and as many as could reach the gingerbread attempted to form further words.

"You need to make more vowels!" someone crie
d accusingly. Do I look like Carol blooming Vorderman?! So I ate an "O" to make my point!

With half the teaching staff retiring at the end of this academic year, there is more than a little feeli
ng of demob-happy about the place!

Wednesday 28 July 2010

Cramptastic

So I was having a serious conversation the other day, with someone I had not previously met. Having been sitting still with my legs crossed, for a long time, I got cramp. Embarrasing eh?

I was told "See - that's because you didn't drink the water I gave you!"
True enough I expect.

I didn't like to point out why I had not drunk it. There was nothing wrong with the water, except I was nervous and, when first handed to me, I had instantly spilt a not inconsiderable amount of it down my top. I thought putting it down and leaving it might be the safest option.

Apparently not!

Tuesday 20 April 2010

It's the end of the world as we know it...

I'm not the brightest student at my University, by any stretch of the imagination, but I often find myself being asked for advice. Maybe it's the 'mature' student status.

Yesterday I was asked (dead seriously) the following, as we waited for a lecture to begin:
Student: "Is Bolivia in Brazil?"

Me: "No, but they're both in South America"


Student: "But I don't understand!"


Me: "Sorry, What don't you understand?"

Student "How come these nuts are produce of
Bolivia if they're supposed to be Brazil Nuts?"

Me: (When I'd recovered myself)
"Well, it's just about the type of nut they are, like Cheddar cheese, or Eccles Cakes."


Student: "Those are places?!"


How on earth the poor lecturer was supposed to explain eschatology after that, I have no idea!

Wednesday 13 January 2010

Interpret it however you like!

I received some wonderful gifts this Christmas, for which I'm very grateful. The small selection photographed are all from different people, and I love them all for different reasons.

I sometimes wonder how much the presents you receive are a measure of how people view you? I am not, I hasten to add, talking about monetary value here, but about who people think you are....

If you're a regular reader, at least the Tommee Tippee cup should be self-evident!

Sunday 3 January 2010

Ideal Christmas

I was catching up on my holiday comedy downloads, and came across a couple of classic comments in the 'Ideal' Christmas Special. Unfortunately I can't find a clip...

Moz (Johnny Vegas) has a visit from him Mum on Boxing Day. 15 mins into the episode, his Mum reveals that the man who brought him up was not really his father.

Moz's upbeat response:

"But hey, look at Jesus. His Dad wasn't his real Dad was he? And he made summat of himself. Lived fast, died young. Left a good looking corpse... that came back to life!

Also...

Moz's Mum: "How was your christmas love?"

Psycho Paul: "Went down midnight mass. All kicked off a bit. Bit of a family tradition..."